Who am I?

As humans we question our existence many times during our lives. This is simply part of human behaviour and occurs both consciously and subconsciously when we least expect it. When we are reminded of our frailty we question what we have done, seen and or been. wpid-img_13499909179687.jpeg

Depression is often an accompanying side effect of this self-doubt and humans regularly experience it. As an individual human entity capable of reasoning and critical thinking it has been an experience of mine to come to these places most often when change is needed. When I speak of change it is not superficial, rather, it is to make my self different through action or in many cases inaction. I have learned to apply a simple method to my psyche or mind. I ask myself why I am feeling the way I feel, when I reach a conclusion I simply ask again why this conclusion? This continues until I have questioned my own physical actions and mental activities a minimum of five times.

Through questioning I reach understanding and am better able to approach my reasoning processes. The title of this essay is, who am I? I am going to show you as readers how I have come to understand who I am.

  1. Who am I?
  2. I am Jesse an individual human male, parent, sometimes instructor, forever student and generally good person.
  3. Why am I Jesse (and the included minutia)?
  4. I was born as the direct result of the sexual reproduction process initiated by my parents. The rest I learned or grew into as I have evolved through the course of my life.
  5. Because the real process of conception and birth is quite easily explained it is the added that I wish to question and discover a reason for, the question is therefore directed at that. How did I learn and grow?
  6. Throughout my life I have experienced pain and pleasure, unfortunately more pain then pleasure in many cases and in a large percentage of cases the pain has been a direct result of my own decisions and actions taken.
  7. What caused me to decide and act the way I have?
  8. As a free individual I have made no decisions that I could not have decided the opposite and acted in an opposite way too. Nothing caused me to decide and act as I do, it is my mind and self that caused all decisions and subsequent actions. I alone am responsible for my wrong actions and my right actions as well as the interpretation of said actions.
  9. Are all actions that have occurred a result of my decisions, or am I unable to change my life, health and being in some cases?
  10. All actions that I take are a result of decisions I make. This is not to say that all actions which may involve me in some way are a result of my decisions. Rather it is the simple fact that while my life as an individual intertwines with others and their decisions, it is my decisions alone that directly affect me in all things.
  11. Are all actions in my life my responsibility?
  12. I am an individual, reasoning being, with the responsibility to accept that my decisions and subsequent actions are indeed my “fault” whether good or bad. I am an individual who can make rational decisions based on critical thinking skills applied directly to situations that occur daily in my life.
  13. Who am I?
  14. I am an individual and I accept that I alone am responsible for me and as a parent I am also responsible for my progeny while they want my protection and guidance.

How many of us ask ourselves the question, who am I? More importantly, how many of us as people have truly come to accept that no excuse, apology or award can change the simple fact that our decisions made regardless approach have resulted in the lives we live? wpid-IMG_00005229_edit.jpg

This of course always brings the question of aggression from others against us into the debate whether it is with another person or by ourselves.

  1. Have our decisions led to our being molested as children, raped, abused, harmed or even murdered?
  2. If our decisions have led to these situations is the action taken against ourselves our obligation?

The simple answer tends to be the best in many things, for myself the simple answer is indeed the best.

  1. Yes, our decisions led to the situation, however, our decisions and the resulting actions WE take are all that we are responsible for in any of the above negative scenarios.
  2. Wrong action taken against ourselves is not our responsibility, only the person committing the action is responsible for the action committed.

Risk is simply a part of our world, whether we live alone on a mountain, in the woods or in a desert; or whether we live in the middle of a large city. Risk is the result of our decisions mixing with the decisions or actions of all other life on earth. For myself as an individual who has experienced being molested as a child, severe long- term debilitating pain and increasing physical weakness, the idea that I am still in control is actually quite relieving.

I am an individual and I accept that I alone am responsible for me and as a parent I am also responsible for my progeny while they want my protection and guidance.


Free the mind and the body will follow.



About Jesse Mathewson

Jesse Mathewson is the author of the popular blog, jessetalksback.com and provides commentary to many varied places based on a background that includes education in criminal justice, history, religion and even insurgency tactics and tactical training. His current role in his community is as an organizer of sorts and a preacher of community solidarity and agorism. He also runs Liberty Practical Training, a self defense school specializing in the practical applications of defensive approaches versus the theoretical. As an agorist, voluntaryist and atheist his life is seen as crazy and wild by many, though once they get to know him most realize he is a bluntly honest individual who will give you the shirt off his back if he believes it is necessary to help you. Very simple, "That which is voluntary between all individuals involved is always right, if it is not voluntary, it is always wrong."
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