Intolerance is a sure sign that you are an individual who embraces group think. As commonly defined, “refusal to accept differences: unwillingness or refusal to accept people who are different from you, or views, beliefs, or lifestyles that differ from your own.” The question to be asked, when is intolerant behaviour aggression worthy of response.
Personally when those I call friend make their intolerance known, I will often question them directly. The answer they give or stance they take tends to show me if these are indeed individuals I desire to continue being friends with. If they act out with passive aggression, the indirect expression of hostility, such as through procrastination, hostile jokes, stubbornness, resentment, sullenness, or deliberate/repeated failure to accomplish requested tasks for which one is (often explicitly) responsible, I will almost always write them off. After all direct aggression is at least honest, whereas passive aggressive behaviour shows a weakness of character that disallows the potential for additional friendship, at least with myself.
Intolerance makes itself known in many ways, over the years I have experienced most ways possible. From jabs at peoples weight, color, clothing type and more, intolerance rears its head quite often among humans. I can be very intolerant, especially of fakes, liars and statists. This does not mean that I do not have statist friends, simply that I have very defined limits which I do not feel the need to cross. Unlike the passive aggressive approaches of people like Ian Freeman, Stefan Molyneux, George Donnelly and the like who use others emotions to do their work for them versus simply speaking directly to the source of their angst. While they have done some good for some I am sure, they regularly use their steadfast followers to lash out at people instead of simply bringing it to them in person.
When problems surface I address the individual directly, the most often used response is a fall-back into petty name calling and whining to others versus simply talking it out like adults. Stefan refuses to communicate, even though he has no problem leading his gullible followers into fits of passionate attacks against his perceived enemies. Ian has done the same thing with myself, and sadly the result has been yet more individuals I believed were friends siding with their messiah of the moment versus using reason. Intolerance, both of these individuals have exhibited intolerant behaviours that exceed at times the behaviours of those they supposedly “protest” against.
So here is my suggested solution, take it as you will.
- Use reason, telling or alluding that someone is not a “whole” person because of their skin color, race, ethnicity or even status of their penis or vagina and or sexual preference shows a distinct lack of personal character. If someone was born, OR changed before they could choose, how is it that persons fault what they are? Therefore the numerous stupid little comments with regards to these things shows a lack of character that I personally refuse to have in my life.
- Personal choice, everyone exhibits personal choice, I like women with booties and definitely enjoy ladies who embrace their sexuality and are comfortable with who they are. I will NOT tell someone else they are shit or less of a person because they dont match my personal preference, and I DO NOT want to sleep with every skeezer that drops in.
So when does intolerance rate a response as having breached the aggression principle I adhere to. As I defined it, after all I am an individual. “Do not be an aggressor against anyone or anyones property, if someone acts with aggression against you or your property, defend yourself or your property. I also believe quite strongly in the idea of self ownership, meaning my life and my decisions are mine alone and I should be allowed to make those without interference from anyone else.” If someone initiates aggression against me be it verbal, written or physical I will respond as I see fit to put a stop to it. I do not expect others to follow this approach. I will not for instance shoot someone for verbally assaulting me, I may however, request that they apologize. And unfortunately, since the age of the duel is no more, I will simply part ways if they refuse.
What say you and why?
Free the mind and the body will follow.
- The science behind ‘The Bitchiness Scale’ (metronews.ca)
- Realistic Expectations (shaseblog.wordpress.com)
- What is passive aggressive behavior? (myerslifecoaching.wordpress.com)
- Passive aggressive (mysadsky.wordpress.com)
- Toxic Relationships – Part II (psychologytoday.com)