Jesse Voluntarist Mathewson; A recent article titled, When we disagree how do we handle it, did quite well. Another amazing agorist businesswoman and wonderful individual Emberlea McCulligh has decided to post an addition and response to this article. I am hoping that she will become a regular contributor and highly recommend her work. I will be posting a bio and her webpage as well for your perusal shortly. Please feel free to leave comments here as well.
Disagreements come and go in each and every relationship that humans have. As intelligent beings, we have ways to resolve differences. Yes, many, and I am in that group, have revoked friendships with people whom I have had deep philosophical differences with. I have used this as a last resort after trying again and again to convince these others that my point of view was correct. I realize this is not the appropriate way to handle disagreements, even deep philosophical differences. Disagreements are exacerbated since friendships today are not the same as they were 10 years ago.
What are the dispute resolutions that are available in a voluntary society? In many areas one can access a third party arbitrator who will manage the dispute. There is a cost associated with this process, depending on where one lives. One important resolution that is often overlooked is simply effective communication. It has been my experience that many disputes, especially via social media, occur because emotions do not translate at all and the freedom others have to be as mean as possible with little or no repercussions. Learning effective communication skills facilitates better communication with all, but how does one communicate effectively online? One thing that could go a long way is to stop calling people names. Also, stop and think before you say or type something. Here is a good resource: http://mashable.com/2010/02/08/communications-social-media/
One of the best ways to handle disagreements is to learn and utilize nonviolent communication. Nonviolent Communication (NVC) was developed by Marshall Rosenberg in the 1960’s to facilitate more amicable communication. NVC is based on the idea that all humans are capable of compassion and only use violent tactics when no other strategies are recognized to meet each person’s needs. NVC focuses on three aspects of communication: self-empathy, empathy and honest self-expression. Here is a good resource for NVC: https://www.cnvc.org
For an excellent outlook on empathy please google Carl Rogers. Dr. Rogers is a respected psychotherapist with an emphasis on using empathy to facilitate better communication.
Developing empathy and using NVC to communicate with others opens up communication to a degree you won’t believe. These techniques have helped me to communicate and LISTEN to others more effectively. I feel as if I am now understood and well as more understanding of others. Let’s learn the strategies to develop and nurture peace in this chaotic and sometimes terrible world.
We must develop and maintain the capacity to forgive. He who is devoid of the power to forgive is devoid of the power to love. There is some good in the worst of us and some evil in the best of us. When we discover this, we are less prone to hate our enemies. Martin Luther King, Jr.
- Make up without breaking upSoft solutions (thehindu.com)
- The Science of Empathy (gabrielconstans.wordpress.com)
- Compassion counts (claritascoaching.net)
- Nonviolent Communication…Language of LIfe? (theunintentionalattachedmom.wordpress.com)
- When we disagree how do we handle it? (jessetalksback.com)
- E is for Empathy… (kinesispd.wordpress.com)
- TRYING to be nonviolent (erasingapathy.wordpress.com)
- Empathy (engrslearningtolead.wordpress.com)